A special East Terrace XV has been released in a playable Jonah Lomu Rugby ‘mod’ to celebrate 20 years of The East Terrace. Packed with legends of the sport from the 1880s to the modern day, the side is arguably the greatest XV ever assembled (‘arguably’ being the key word).

The team has been built by Chris Chen of jlr.nz and flawlessly (and without any bias whatsoever) selected by East Terrace editor James Stafford. It really is hard to spot a single weakness in this team of masterful titans.

The man behind the mod, Chen, is a software developer from New Zealand who describes himself as being at the centre of a venn diagram featuring ‘Rugby, Gaming, Software, and the 90s’. He has been working for over four years on building a Jonah Lomu Rugby mod that updates the game to include teams, kits and players from modern-day rugby. 

The East Terrace kit featured in the game is based on the classic cotton design worn in Dublin and Prague by the original East Terrace Beach and Tag Rugby Team.

 

The change kit is based on the most divine Wales kit of all time: the 1997 ecru Reebok kit.

You can learn how to download and play a mod of Jonah Lomu Rugby at the end of this post, but, without further ado, here is our all-time East Terrace XV.

THE EAST TERRACE XV

FULLBACK

MIKE RAYER (Cardiff, Bedford, Wales)

There is some nonsense online lately about Antoine Dupont being the greatest player of all time. He isn’t. The GOAT is playing at full-back in our team. Rayer was prevented from adding to his 21 caps for Wales by the fact he was, quite simply, too good for northern hemisphere rugby and there was a conspiracy in the corridors of power to thwart his rise to the top. The fact Rayer never played for the British & Irish Lions is reason enough to disband that scratch side. Or, arguably, the rugby football code itself.

WINGERS

RONALD POULTON (Liverpool, Harlequins, England)

One of the greatest men to ever pull on an England shirt. A genuine superstar on the field and a true gentleman off it, Poulton lost his life in 1915, aged just 25, to a sniper’s bullet during the Second Battle of Ypres. He fought out of patriotism, but was angered at the concept of civilised nations going to war. He openly criticised the RFU for its attitude to amateurism, believing rugby was too great a game to be confined to one class of player.

At Oxford he volunteered with the Balloil Boys’ Club to help the homeless and hungry and was mocked by several of his peers for doing so (which tells you all you need to know about those kinds of people). After university he would give up his free time to volunteer for lads’ clubs in Manchester and Reading and played rugby not just with the glamorous Harlequins of London, but also Liverpool. He features on the cover of both ‘An Illustrated History of English Rugby‘ and ‘An Illustrated History of Rugby Rebels, Role Models and Giant Killers’ by James Stafford.

SIMON HILL (Cardiff, Wales)

He never let Wales down.

CENTRES

FRANK HANCOCK (Cardiff, Wales)

Born in Somerset into a beer-brewing family, Frank moved to Cardiff for business reasons. In 1884 he was selected for Cardiff when some regular backs were injured. He was so impressive that Cardiff wanted to keep him in the 1st XV, but also didn’t want to leave out the first-choice players returning from injury. In a decision that would change the sport forever, for the next match the selectors only picked eight forwards and included an extra threequarter instead. The tactic was a success and was eventually adopted by the whole rugby world.

Hancock was fanatical about developing good passing and exciting back play – highly unusual at a time when rugby was all about forwards bashing each other about. In 1885–86, as captain of Cardiff, he refused to allow his players to kick at goal. They won all but one of 27 games and scored an astonishing 131 tries – but registered not a single penalty, drop kick or goal from mark. In one game, a teammate tried a drop goal and was lectured fiercely by Hancock, who threatened to send off the next player that tried it! He retired aged 26. [Text taken from ‘An Illustrated History of Welsh Rugby‘].

 

GWYN NICHOLLS (Cardiff, Wales)

Nicknamed the ‘Prince of Centres’ or the ‘Prince of Threequarters’ for his style of play, Nicholls was one of the key figures in the early history of international rugby. He is most famous for coming out of retirement in 1905 to help inflict the first ever defeat on the All Blacks (inspiring this children’s book from East Terrace XV fly-half James Stafford). His place in rugby history is carved not just from his power, agility, sensational swerve, pretty pass, positional brain or kicking skills, but his strategic brain and ability to lead and shape a team.

OUTSIDE HALF

JAMES STAFFORD (Barry Plastics, Old Belvedere, London Japanese, Nyrsko)

Whilst primarily a flanker or number eight, East Terrace editor James Stafford feels that his run outs at 10 for St. Richard Gwyn High School, Barry RFC Minis and Barry Plastics make him the perfect selection to lead this world-class backline. He was also selected there for London Japanese in an international tournament in Prague, but suffered a severe concussion in the game before, thus preventing him heralding in a new era in Japanese rugby. Such are the cruel twists of life. Stafford can juggle and then kick drop goals off both feet. 

Doing the #ABallforthePlanet challenge on behalf of @RagbyOlymp in Prague.

Thoughts? @Rhino_Sport and @therugbytrainer. 🇨🇿 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 https://t.co/KKcVTe3kZ8 pic.twitter.com/sOvdP9lhLq

— James Stafford 🇺🇦 (@jpstafford) April 15, 2024

SCRUM HALF

MAURO BERGAMASCO (Treviso, Stand Francais, Zebre, Italy)

Selected here because everyone loves a redemption story.

 

PROPS

GETHIN JENKINS (Pontypridd, Cardiff, Toulon, Wales)

One of the great front row forwards of the modern era, Jenkins is included primarily for the time he threw a ball at Ronan O’Gara’s head in 2005. Oh, and the ten seconds before that moment too. He won 129 caps for Wales.

JIM HANNAN (Newport, Wales)

A pioneer of modern front row play, Hannan played 19 times for Wales between 1888 and 1895. He is also included for his unique body shape and this awesome player portrait.

HOOKER

GEOFF BECKINGHAM (Cardiff, Wales)

One of three Barry men to make the team, Beckingham is a Cardiff legend and few men have pulled on the famous blue and black shirt of Cardiff more than he did. He won three Welsh caps and was part of the 1953 Cardiff team which beat the All Blacks (you can read about the comic book here). He is also included as he used to coach at Barry Plastics (now known as Sully Sports) and would perform ultrasound physiotherapy on the limbs of both the East Terrace fly-half and number eight.

SECOND ROWS

STUART ROY (Cardiff, Pontypridd, Wales)

Part of the Cardiff team that won the Welsh cup in 1994 and the Heineken League in 1995, Roy also makes the squad as a thank you for being part of the operation on outside half Stafford’s ruined knee in 1999. Stafford would like to take this opportunity to apologise for babbling on about rugby DURING the operation when Roy was trying to listen to the main surgeon. In his defence, Stafford was off his head on whatever medication had been delivered at the time and excited about the forthcoming World Cup in Cardiff.

PAUL KAWULOK (Bridgend, Cardiff)

Selected because East Terrace editor James Stafford once read as child that his nickname was something like ‘Cowalookalike’ and that amused him.

BLINDSIDE FLANKER

DAN LYDIATE (Ospreys, Racing Metro, Dragons, Wales)

Lydiate may not have done much with a ball in hand, but what he did in defence was pure brutal poetry. A player you would pay good money for just to see him tackle, and tackle, and then tackle again. Horatius on the flank.

OPENSIDE FLANKER

DAI MORRIS (Glynneath, Neath, Wales)

Morris won 24 caps for Wales at the start of the side’s second Golden Era. A miner, he would often work in the morning and play in the afternoon. His nickname was the ‘Shadow’, given to him as he always seemed to be on the shoulder of the ball carrier ready to support him and keep the ball alive.

NUMBER EIGHT

MICHAEL STAFFORD (Dunvant, Barry Plastics)

James Stafford only got to play rugby once with his late father, and it remains his most treasured rugby memory. He simply had to make the team so they could both play together again, even if only in digital form. A true rugby man and a great man. Michael is the team’s captain.

HOW TO PLAY

To download the mod so you can play as this epic East Terrace team go to: https://jlr.nz and click ‘Download‘. https://jlr.nz/support shows how to install it. You’ll need Windows 10 or above and a controller. If you want to support development and get early access to releases, go to https://patreon.com/JLR and become a member.

Support The East Terrace

If you’ve enjoyed spending time on The East Terrace over the years, please do consider buying one of editor James Stafford’s books. Thanks to all those who continue to support these books on social media, it is hugely appreciated.