The East Terrace - For the rugby football enthusiast

Llanelli Scarlets caught at crossroads making a deal with the Devil

Scarlets and the Devil
Scarlets making a deal with the Devil

Posted October, 2006

The Llanelli Scarlets, currently at risk of going into administration due to serious financial problems, have been caught by a journalist in the act of making a deal with the Devil in an attempt to end their economic plight.

theeastterrace.com can reveal that the regional side’s boss, Stuart Gallacher, along with a few other club officials, were caught hanging around a crossroads in deepest west Wales at midnight on October 16th, attempting to negotiate a deal with the Prince of Darkness.

The Scarlets are currently in danger of folding after the club’s plan to sell their home ground for a housing development and to then relocate to a new stadium was halted by the Welsh Assembly government.

Llanelli Scarlets boss Stuart Gallacher has claimed that the assembly government's move to call in its new stadium scheme has put the club's future in jeopardy and he had ‘little alternative’ but to turn to the dark side.

‘Things are pretty desperate,’ said the Scarlets chief executive, ‘the club might be finished by Christmas. The WRU didn’t help us, the local businessman who came forward to help us had too many conditions and this deal was the best we could come up with.’

theeastterrace.com understands that the Devil was offering to clear the Scarlets debts and build them a new, gold and diamond encrusted stadium in return for a hospitality box at the new ground, an allocation of international tickets and the soul of the first-born child of an unnamed Llanelli squad member.

However, a spokesdemon for the Devil issued a statement claiming the Devil was only in preliminary talks with the Scarlets board and had not made a formal offer.

‘The Devil doesn’t want to get his fingers burned,’ said the spokesperson, ‘he wants to weigh up all the options first. It’s one thing the Devil being in control of Hades and fighting an eternal battle with the Almighty, but it’s another thing getting involved in Welsh rugby politics. He doesn’t want to start something he can’t finish.’

The Welsh Rugby Union have released a statement saying they are ‘concerned’ by Gallacher’s actions.

The WRU is still suffering the after effects of a curse after they made a pact with the Devil in the 1960s to bring success back to Welsh rugby.

Although the Devil kept his part of the deal by allowing Wales a glorious decade of success in the 1970s, WRU officials had failed to check the small print and the Devil was laughing all the way to the bank after betting huge sums of money on such unlikely results as Wales losing at home to the likes of Romania, Canada and Western Samoa. All of which had been arranged by the Devil himself.

Gallacher told The East Terrace he will continue to do his best to attempt to sort out the club’s problems in ‘whatever way he sees fit’.

He also asked The East Terrace if he could make a direct plea to our readers: ‘Anyone able to lend us a fiver?’