The East Terrace - For the rugby football enthusiast

I'm completely open over here

openhereBy The Whining Guy on the Wing for Sully Plastics XV

BALL!…I'M OPEN, C'MON NOW…PASS IT…IDIOT! Guys I was completely open then, you need to stop crashing up the middle. Seriously, I was sure to score then if you had just passed to me. Andrew you have to stop giving it back to the forwards, we need a bit more pace and width this afternoon. Their backline are aligned poorly and the defence system they are using is leaving me open all the time.

YEAH!! NOW, I'M FREE. OH FLIPPIN' HECK JOHN! QUICKER! YUP…..DAMN! Sorry guys, I know you think I shouldn't have knocked it on but their winger was a bit offside and, besides, the pass was a bit behind me. I was running on at full pace and to be honest you should have put it in front of me so I wouldn't have to break my stride. I was definitely going to score if you had passed to the right spot.

I GOT HIM COVERED, YEAH HERE WE….OH *****! Sorry, I should have tackled him before he crossed the line. I suppose he was my guy. Thing is, I was already to flatten him and I wasn't sure of John had his man covered on the inside. Also, their openside was coming round on a loop and no one had picked him up. So I was trying to cover everybody at once because I felt isolated here. We need to get cover quicker, and you guys in the centre need to come up a bit more aggressively, shut them down quicker. And you chaps in the forwards, do you mind trying to compete a bit more for the ball as the less ball they have the more we have you know? It's all very well you messing around rolling on the floor but we backs want to play this seriously and do some real work. Excellent. Now get the ball out to me and I'll have points on the board in no time.

Half time already? That's quite a shock as I haven't had the ball all half. We need to ship it out to me straight off the set piece. They won't expect that. Let's have the ball quick off the back of the lineout, all hands, and off to me. No captain, I don't mean to do your job for you or anything, I just have view out of the game on the wing that you, as a number eight, don't have. Maybe you are too involved, just ask me if you want a broader perspective. Just trying to encourage the lads, you know.

YEAH! I'M OPEN...NOW..GOT IT………OOPS! Sorry I appear to have badly sliced that chip ahead straight into touch. Sorry. These new boots are still a bit shiny, need to wear them in. Expensive boots as well. Looking around probably the best boots in the team. Paul, yours seem to have more sticky tape than leather! Won't help come January in the rain. Mine give me a solid grip and are great for kicking, apart from that slice then eh? Having admitted slicing it, I was under a bit more pressure than I should have been. If the pass had been a bit quicker I would have had more time…GUYS QUICK THEY ARE TAKING A QUICK LINEOUT AND …OH NO!! Another try. Man, if you hadn't demanded an explanation for my sliced kick we could have been alert to that, especially you at full back John. And if…wait...what? Substitution? Who me? What!? Damn.

Hang on? We don't even have any subs.