The East Terrace - For the rugby football enthusiast

Lions’ mascot in ‘lovecub’ drama

Lovecub drama for British Lions
Result of night of 'passion'

Posted 29th June, 2005

The British and Irish Lions have been rocked by a scandal ahead of the second test in Wellington this Saturday.

Local papers have revealed that the Lions mascot, a cuddly lion toy who accompanies the team onto the field before each game, fathered a ‘lovecub’ during the 1993 tour of New Zealand.

According to Wellington media the Lions mascot is the father of local lion toy Percy Smith. Percy, now twelve, was apparently the result of enthusiastic celebrations by the mascot after the 1993 second test victory in Wellington.

The mascot, on a high after his team’s 20-7 success, charmed several of the local lionesses during a post-match function put on by a local sponsor. Witnesses report that the mascot consumed twenty beers before taking home local lioness Shelia and having a ‘wild night of passion’.

Shelia, who appears to have been paid by the media for her story, apparently kept the whole story quite until now as she feared being shunned by the local toy community, all fanatical All Black fans.

“I never planned to tell Percy,” said Shelia in an interview from the toy chest she lives in. “But there has been so much hype about the 2005 tour that it awoke all these emotions and feelings I had suppressed for years. It all came flooding out last week when Percy sat watching the first test and I heard him say that the British and Irish Lions were shaming the reputation of real and cuddly lions. That was when I told him the truth.”

Alastair Campbell, it seems, was caught completely by surprise by the revelation and has gagged the mascot from any public appearances or media interviews. However, it is significant that no denial has been forthcoming from the management.

Shelia went on to claim that the Lion mascot had promised her ‘the whole world and all that was in it’. “He was gone at first daylight,” said Shelia.

Percy has made limited comment on the issue as he appears to try to be coming to terms with the disclosure. “I never knew my father,” said Percy. “I don’t want to know him either. He sounds like a real cad and far from a gentleman. He should resign from his post if he has any honour.”

The 1993 Lions have apparently closed ranks - the East Terrace was unable to secure any comments on the issue from any of the players involved on the tour. Although one player, wishing to remain anonymous, did stress that ‘tours were different in the amateur days and we should let bygones be bygones’.

It is not yet known whether Woodward will call out a replacement mascot before the second test.