The East Terrace - For the rugby football enthusiast

Scotland shock rugby world as they steal Calcutta Cup from England

Scotland steal Calcutta Cup
Scotland own the cup for this year

Originally posted March, 2005

In one of the biggest upsets in recent memory, Scotland claimed the Calcutta Cup for the first time in five years on Saturday evening. Despite losing out 43-22 to England at Twickenham on the field of play, Matt Williams’ and his squad stole the Calcutta trophy during the post match celebrations and fled back across the border.

The move is likely to keep the under fire coach in his job a while longer.

'The press wrote us off and said we had no chance of winning anything this year,' said the Australian born coach. 'But go take a look in the SRU trophy room and you’ll see we proved everyone wrong.'

The press in Scotland are hailing the ‘victory’ as a masterpiece in tactical play, praising Williams for the ‘greatest dummy of all’.

'When everyone thought winning the cup was about on the pitch performance,' said Scottish rugby correspondent Paul Telfer. 'We showed that there are many ways to skin a cat. It’s a huge shot in the arm for the game in Scotland.'

Scottish captain Gordon Bulloch explained that the tactics for taking the Cup had been based on a simple, old fashioned Hollywood principle: 'Andy Robinson had put the famous cup straight in the Twickenham trophy cabinet and then put the keys on his belt on a big round key chain, like in all those old movies and cartoons. We then proceeded to ply him with drinks and kept telling him how well his team had played. When he began dozing off we slowly unbuckled the belt to get the keys off. There were a few scary moments when he would yawn, or move suddenly, but Simon Taylor would begin singing a lullaby and he’d go straight back off to napland. Then it was just a case of grabbing the cup and going. We tried to take the World Cup as well but just as I was reaching for it Robinson woke up and saw what we were doing. We fled to the team bus where Matt Williams was waiting with the engine running. We almost got caught but Robinson slipped on a banana skin at the last possible second. We think it had been dropped by one of the English players who had eaten it to recover some energy after the game.'

Before Saturday most of the Scottish rugby press were calling for Matt Williams to resign, but with Scotland claiming the Calcutta Cup, and coming within inches of the World Cup as well, the pressure seems to be off. Williams was unavailable for comment as he was currently making plans to prevent the cup being reclaimed by the English.

'I’ve heard there is to be a midnight raid later in the week led by Martin Corry. I can’t say too much, but I have a little surprise for them should they try to take it. Remember Indiana Jones and that big rolling ball that chases him when he takes that gold in Raiders of the Lost Ark? That image will give you some idea of what we are talking about!'